“Two-Bit, I swear to God if we get out of this alive, I WILL KILL YOU. And when I say ‘kill you’, I literally mean ‘kill you’, “I shrieked angrily at the man-child that I refused to accept as my boyfriend at the moment.
“I love it when you talk dirty,” he winked instead, and before I could yell at him, the car bounced.
I screamed, latching onto Two-Bit’s arm, while he laughed.
“Whoo-wee!” he yelled, as happy as a clam, and I rolled my eyes.
“Two, when I said I wanted it to be a fun date tonight, I didn’t mean this!” I cried.
“You mean to tell me you’re not having fun?”
Two-Bit always enjoyed living in the moment; most of the time, that spelled t-r-o-u-b-l-e. In fact, we were currently on the run from the fuzz for a drugstore robbery, and their patrol cars were hot on our tail, and sirens wailing louder than a hungry baby. I muttered a curse under my breath as Two-Bit’s crappy hunk of metal he called a car bounced again. I looked up and silently made a prayer that we wouldn’t be killed. Oh, why had I agreed to this?
“I’m bored,” I said, yawning, and the rusty-haired boy next to me nodded in agreement.
It had been a long, lazy day of sweet nothings, and both of us were incredibly bored.
“Heyy! Let’s go on a date!” Two-Bit said, grey eyes dancing, and I laughed.
“Aren’t we technically on one, since we’ve been together the whole day?”
“Nah, that’s like hanging out. We should go on a DATE.”
“Alright,” I agreed, shrugging. “Just make sure it’s fun!”
Two-Bit was unusually quiet for a few minutes, and I followed his gaze to a drugstore that stood only about five feet from us. I could literally see the light bulb light up above my boyfriend’s head.
“Babe, you have no idea,” he said, excited now as he dragged me by the arm to the drugstore.
“Uh, a drugstore?” I wrinkled my nose in confusion as we entered the store. “No offense, Two-Bit but what—“
“You need anything, kids?” the cashier guy asked from the counter, and I was just about to say no, when Two-Bit casually pulled out his black-handled switchblade and brought it up under the guy’s chin.
“You can, actually!” Two-Bit said cheerfully. “We’ll be needing a couple of bucks from your register, and some grub would be nice!”
“Two-Bit!” I screeched. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?! You can’t rob this drugstore!”
“I’m not, but we are!” he said, grinning. “Now be a dear and grab some food and stuff you hear?”
“You’ll pay for this,” the cashier grunted, and Two-Bit chuckled, digging the blade a bit deeper into the guy’s chin.
“Actually, we’re not!”
“Well you will,” the guy smirked. “’Cause the cops are right here.”
Two-Bit and I looked up to find the fuzz barging through the doors, guns up.
“Game’s up, kids!”
“Let’s beat feet, (Y/N)!” Two-Bit yelled, still laughing like a maniac, and panicked, I actually did grab a bunch of snacks, plus a pack of beer as we ran to Two-Bit’s truck.
And that’s how we had landed into this hot mess. I glared at Two-Bit, who was probably having the time of his life here. We both cursed as the car suddenly came to a halting stop.
“Damn thing just broke down!” Two-Bit gasped, and I was ready to start ripping out my hair, cry, or both.
I heard the police cars start to pull up, and I moaned, throwing my head back. Great, just great. Two-Bit patted my hand.
“Don’t worry, (Y/N)! I’ve got total control of the situation!” he chirped, and in a flash, he was out the car with his hands up in the air.
“Alright, kid, just come in quietly now,” one of the cops said. “We don’t want no trouble.”
“Yeah, I know, I really messed up,” Two-Bit sighed, and he looked so forlorn, I stepped out of the car to stand next to him.
“Shoulda thought of that before you and your little girlfriend decided to rob a drugstore,” the guy said firmly, but I could see he looked a bit sorry for us.
“Wife, actually,” Two-Bit said quietly, and everyone, myself included, let out a “What?!”
“It’s just so hard!” Two-Bit said, tears streaming down his face, and we all watched him stunned. “I’m too young to be a father of three!”
“Two-Bit, what the hell are you going on about—“I started, but was interrupted by a wail from Two-Bit.
“And taking care of a mentally unstable wife!” he added, and now I was mad.
“Two-Bit!” I shrieked, and the cops kept looking at each other, confused.
“What’s a two-bit?” a cop next to the one who was talking to us asked, looking like a fish out of water.
“No one knows,” Two-Bit said, slapping a hand over my mouth so I couldn’t say anything. “Poor thing says the darnest things after the accident…”
“Accident?” the cop from before asked, lowering his gun a little bit, and the red-haired boy nodded.
“Car accident two years back. Brain injury. Doesn’t remember a thing, and now says the craziest things,” Two-Bit said sorrowfully, and all the cops looked at me in pity, and I rolled my eyes.
“Well, I’m sorry to hear that, but we’ll still have to pull you in, son,” the cop said, and Two-Bit cried out in anguish.
“ ‘Son’! That’s why we robbed the drugstore in the first place! My wife’s pregnant with another son, and kept muttering for beer!”
“I am not pregnant!” I said, finally tearing his hand away from my mouth, and he dropped to his knees, hugging my legs.
“She doesn’t even know!” he wailed, and I can see all the fuzz muttering things.
“Aw, come on, Jim, the guy has three kids with another one on the way!” someone said, and “Jim” looked unsure for a few minutes.
“I guess we can let this one slide, but it’s our little secret, ok?” he reluctantly agreed. He gave me a cautious look. “Take care, kid. And of your crazy wife too.”
My jaw dropped, and I could only watch as Two-Bit jumped up for joy and even went up to kiss Jim on both cheeks.
“Oh, thank you, sir! Jim, was it? You’re a great man, Jim!”
We waited ‘til all the patrol cars left, and finally we went back to the truck.
“I’m not talking to you,” I said, and Two-Bit grinned.
“You just did.”
“That was pretty good acting chops you got there.”
“Yeah? Being a good liar helps,” he said, wiping away the left over fake tears. “Are you trying to get to the point of that you didn’t have fun?”
I thought about it. Despite the craziness and danger of the situation, the rush had been rather…nice.
“Yeah, I had fun,” I said, and Two-Bit smiled at me, reaching over his seat to grab a beer from our stolen pack. He offered me one, and I nodded. God knows I really needed alcohol now. “So, think I’m crazy, huh?”
“Yep,” Two-Bit laughed, leaning over me now, and I smiled as our foreheads touched. “But I wouldn’t trade you for anything in the whole world.”
We kissed, and I thought that even if Two-Bit did want to trade me off for anything, it wouldn’t matter. Two-Bit Mathews was good at stealing things alright. In this case? My heart.
A/N: Pssshh, that ending was super cheesey! :’D Hope you liked, babes~!! <3 -Essie